You see, life is like

a box of … avocados.

  • A real friend is one who walks in with avocados when the rest of the world walks out.
  • Anger is one letter short of danger. Similarly, avocado is one letter short of avocados. As in, multiple avocados. As in, awesome.
  • He who is mighty is he who makes an avocado into guacamole.
  • As you get older, three things happen. First, you lose your memory, then … Where’d the guacamole go?
  • Keep your friends close and your guacamole even closer.
  • Times flies when you’re having fun, and avocados fly when you throw them.
  • Absence makes the heart grow fonder but avocado absence just makes the stomach grow hungrier.
  • An avocado a day may not keep the doctor away — but it will taste good.
  • It’s unfair when a person is born with a silver spoon in their mouth. They’re already prepared to pit and mash their avocados.
  • Fools rush in — unless there’s guacamole on the table, in which case geniuses rush in.
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